just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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