There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
