i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
