why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize