my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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