You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
