I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My life is pants optional.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
