she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
