I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
