If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
