No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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