guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
