i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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