to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the raccoons are back...
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