If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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