Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
