So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
