I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
