im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
