mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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