just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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