I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
