Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
