I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Naked. naked and bneed help.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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