why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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