There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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