I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I look better un-naked...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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