She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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