no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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