How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
