just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
