my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
