i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
