Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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