? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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