I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
