sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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