ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
