Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
