okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
