That's intense
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
