I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
