I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize