I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
