her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
