I love black thongs
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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