the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
