the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
