Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
