Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
