dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize