just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
