I think I am morally bankrupt
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
