nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so let's talk penis.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
