He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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