haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
