either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you had me at cake vodka
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
