do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
