so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
