I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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