no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize