dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
