Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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