just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
