That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
