So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
