Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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