All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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