Yo dont text me then not text me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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