I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize