Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize