I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
