Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
