Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
